I mean seriously, how did Morgause pitch that idea to Morgana
Like was Morgana just casually applying her copious amounts of green eyeshadow when Morgause sort of snuck up behind her and said hurriedly “We’re going to the Isle of the Blessed and you’re going to kill me” before hurling herself in the opposite direction so she couldn’t hear Morgana argue back
Or did she leave Morgana a really upbeat letter that said ‘ROAD TRIP!!!! Romantic tour of the Isle of the Blessed!!!! I’ll tell you about all the lesbians that used to live there!!!! I’m waiting in the cart outside!!!!’ and Morgana would frown and open the hovel door only to see Morgause lying down on a decrepit cart glancing over her nails, seemingly having been there waiting for a very long time, and then Morgana would look down at the letter again where she notices another section in very small writing that says ‘P.S. Due to my illness and insufficient funds you’ll be dragging me all the way there in the cart!!!! But the scenery is A+!!!!!’ and then, on the back of the letter and in even smaller writing ‘P.P.S. This trip might involve you stabbing me!!!! Your opinions on the matter are irrelevant!!!! But the dagger is really pretty!!!!’
Or maybe Morgause made a huge nuisance out of herself for weeks on end and every time she ‘accidentally’ knocked over the cooking pot or ‘accidentally’ set some furniture on fire she would say “Wouldn’t it be so much easier if I wasn’t here at all?” and she would give Morgana a really pointed look and Morgana would gaze back at her in a mixture of irritation and bewilderment until eventually, after Morgause ‘accidentally’ set the hem of Morgana’s dress alight, the two had a huge row that ended up with Morgause screaming “I JUST WANT YOU TO STAB AND KILL ME IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK”
Like whatever Morgause did, the pitch must have been amazing because I still don’t understand how Morgana was persuaded to kill her girlfriend sister
And seriously like none of their really dramatic plans ever work so didn’t Morgause stop and think ‘hey maybe my death will be in vain let’s think of something much more logical like enchanting some knives to fly into Uther and Arthur’s faces during dinner’
Because now Morgause is dead and Morgana is just lonely
Like I understand how Morgause thought she was dying anyway so she may as well sacrifice herself
But didn’t Morgana argue back
Wasn’t she like ‘Morgause honey, this is a fictional world with lots of magic in it, there will be a way to heal you calm down’
And didn’t either of them question the fact that Morgause hit her head against a pillar at the end of S3 but somehow inexplicably has scarring all over the right side of her body and a general debilitating mystery illness in S4
I HAVE SO maNY QuESTionS HElp
Because I promised to do a chat summary of it, then forgot, then remembered, felt bad, and decided to make up for it by doing this instead.
FYI: This shit cray and long. Only took me like 3 days to do what even is my life Enjoy!
UPDATE: Ok it’s all fixed and good to go now! THREE CHEERS FOR ME
Act calm act natural you’re just introducing yourself-
Oh shit there she is-
What a pretty little lion-
I mean - crap - focus, Morgana, focus!
……Have…have we just slipped into eye sex already
No wait….eyes….drifting…
…..downwards…..
FUCK, focus on her face, Morgana, her FACE-
Why are we standing so close
Why is she wearing so much eyeliner
Is she a panda
She’s a beautiful panda-
Wait why is she on the verge of tears
What’s that on her wrist
………How are her fingers so long-
NO I MEAN - pay attention to what she’s saying! Something about a bracelet…
Why is she looking so emotional I don’t understand
…………drifting……
DAMN IT - LOOK AT HER FACE MORGANA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU -
Oh fuck is that an engagement present
No no no no no this is moving way too fast I checked out her boobs but that doesn’t mean I want to marry her-
ABORT EVERYTHING I AM NOT READY FOR THIS KIND OF COMMITMENT
OH GODDESS WHY IS SHE SO EMOTIONAL WE’VE ONLY JUST MET
I don’t understand anything that’s happening
Are we breaking up or did we just get married
Is she a lion or is she a panda
……..Am I gonna get pregnant from this
*Fighting*
*Screaming*
Does anybody else hear…complete badassery?
RRRRRAAAAAWWWWRRRGGGGGHHHH!
*Slaughtering*
Seriously…I’ve suddenly gained the feeling of impending doom
*Butchering*
*No fucks being given in any direction*
*Ominous steps*
*Error 404: Fucks still not found*
Keep calm, it’s not like this intruder can do anything, they’re completely outnumbered-
Shit
…..Is anybody else aroused by this or….?
*SLOW*
*MO*
*PORN*
We’re all going to die
She’s going to murder me in my sleep
…I have the weirdest ladyboner right now
I didn’t want her to die in vain
I made a promise to avenge her soul in time
Looking back over the promotional pictures, I still can’t work out whether the marketing team were trying to present a highly charged, intense sisterly relationship or just simply full out, in-your-face incest.
Although I’m pretty sure it’s incest.
We are all of royal blood
Lust for us while we lust for our prestige
This isn’t a dream anymore
Put your lips to the ground and hail to your majesty
Ok ok keep calm
Stay focused, you are just meeting your sister
You can do this
Oh goddess there she is
She’s on a horse she’s on an actual horse oh my god
She’s like a blonde Flynn Rider with bodyguards
She is so dramatic-
Shit she’s coming this way, ok play it cool Morgana-
Oh look at her fucking face, it’s like her cheekbones were chiseled by angels
No wait, stop fangirling Morgana stop fangirling
Just don’t look into her eyes and you’ll be ok-
I’m looking into her eyes
Gods have mercy, I think I might melt
Wait, why is she standing so close?
Is she trying to instigate something?
…I wouldn’t mind instigating her something-
…Maybe I’ll take her by surprise
…Although…she’s looking at me kind of weird
Shit
She probably thinks I’m high
…
High on love
Maybe I shouldn’t have worn this during a sneak round the castle…
I mean, what if someone sees me…
And someone is going to see me because I’m wearing bright red
Shit, I feel so self-conscious
Oh my Goddess, there are people down there
I am such an idiot, why did I think this was appropriate attire?!
Oh fuck it, just run Morgana
Run and hope for the best
Oh my god I’m gonna do it
I’m gonna raise the dead yes I am
And Morgause is gonna be so proud of me
And nobody is here to stop me
This feels delicious
Right here we go allons-y!
BOOM BITCHES
Oh my god what the fuck is happening jesus take the wheel
Urgh that felt gross
I think I’m gonna vomit
OooOOOoO00Oooooo000Ooo0oooOoohhhh myyyyyyyy
Goddess have mercy on my golden locks that’s good
Mmmmmm sweet sweet zombies I feel you
I feel you…….mmmmmm….
……..ah man that was better than the kittens I ate for breakfast
…We are definitely raising the dead more often
…Did she just…
I totally did
…
Who the fuck am I in an alliance with
