February 2012
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“I think people sometimes get the wrong impression when they’re like, ‘Oh, well,...”
– Lucy Liu to Jane Magazine in 2003 (via itsinthetrees)
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
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pointy-earedbastard:
samstopswinging:
the-hypocritical-critic:
meganninwonderland:
pizzaforpresident:
Meryl Streep could play my mother and I’d believe her.
#Meryl Streep could play my father and I’d believe her.
#Meryl Streep could play me and I’d believe her
Meryl Streep could play Benedict Cumberbatch at the Oscars and I’d believe her
Meryl could play Leonardo DiCaprio and win...
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underneaththesestairs:
i miss anne hathaway in various sexy outfits shouting about lesbians while james franco was high as a kite
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I definitely have the best flatmates ever
When asked if they wanted to go out, one said she’d rather watch Harry Potter and another said he’d like to drink and play COD or Skyrim instead.
So we’re going to do a combination of ALL OF THEM and I’m supplying chocolate cookies
Fuck going to any clubs
TONIGHT WE DINE IN GEEKY SOLITUDE
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lozziebee replied to your post: Serious issue
there is a moist atmosphere? :L try to get the word ‘salacious’ in, that’s always my favourite one for essays ;)
I am so tempted just to write that and see what happens xD ‘Salacious’, eh? I RECKON I CAN FIT THAT IN SOMEWHERE YES SIREE
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Serious issue
I can’t find a way to put the word ‘moist’ into my essay
And I really, really want to
So far I’ve managed:
smorgasbord
discombobulate
popinjay
pestiferous
I mean ‘popinjay’ was a stretch, but I can’t for the life of me find a reason why ‘moist’ would be appropriate in the essay
There is nothing moist that happens in the book
And it...
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Weather what what what are you doing
Yesterday it was like arctic conditions and I wouldn’t have been surprised to look out my window and see penguins waddling across campus
Today I go out in full winter gear, with the thought in mind to channel my inner eskimo, and instead find myself melting on the way to the shops
It’s like England has just given a giant middle finger up to the notion of climates and decided...
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I don't really understand how I'm working Freud...
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Not 'gonna lie, it's quite difficult to write an...
JANE AUSTEN - PErSuaSIoN!!!!1!!111!!
That one she wrote before she died innit
Sir Walter defo wants to bone Mrs. Clay but Anne is all up in his grill like “IT’S INAPPROPRIATE TO TAKE HER TO BATH”, but then Elizabeth smacks her down like “Shut up bitch don’t be a cockblock”
Basically the moral of the story is that literally everybody hates Mary, including her...
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Texts from my flatmate Sam
Sam: We need to go shopping
Sam: You said you'd come shopping
Sam: Get out of your room
Sam: Stop sleeping for one hour that's all I'm asking
Sam: LIZZIE
Sam: Fine we'll go whenever you surface
Me: ......I'm surfaced
Sam: 'I'm surfaced'? ENGLISH STUDENT
Me: I'M SLEEPY DON'T JUDGE ME
Sam: SLEEPY?
Sam: SLEEPY?!?!?
Sam: YOU'VE HAD LIKE 15 HOURS SLEEP
Sam: YOU GET MORE SLEEP THAN THE DEAD
tire-swing asked: Lizzie. This has bugged me for the longest time and I just know you'll understand but just oh my lord how beautiful is faramir and his gorgeous face and hair and face and everything :O
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